DEBUGGING Recently I received some auditing from Pat. It went quite well and a particular problem that had been bugging was knocked out. A shift in viewpoint was needed and obtained. Thanx Clawed_Waterbuck

On re-connecting Do you know that feeling you get when you have too many incomplete cycles? (Ref problems of work book). Especially if it goes on for a long time. It is exhausting, you're never quite relaxed and, in the end, you feel hounded. You feel like you've put on years. If you do complete something, there isn't much of a win to it because there is always something else to be done. Sometimes, a herculean effort will see a major chunk of old undone cycles cleared away from the backlog, but the respite is short lived. The products you do produce seem worthless (becasue you know there is so much that hasn't been done even if the recipient of your product is well pleased). You feel valueless. It becomes a way of life... (uh. can you feel the apathy). Well, I felt like that. My eldest son (admittedly he is self confessed advert for couch potato syndrome) even noticed it. He said, "Dad, you never stop. You have to be working, don't you!" And he was right. Everything was a job. A lot of people I know would, for example, look forward to getting a hot bath. "Ah, some 1d time", they would say to themselves. Not to me. Even relaxing in a hot tub had become a job. If I watched a TV program I would feel guilty that I hadn't been working. (A touch of the old SO days valence mixed up in there methinks!) I couldn't get out of it. No matter how much I did, there would always be more. And no matter how fast I went it would never be fast enough. It was like catching a cold, but as a being. Forever being clogged up with incompletes. And, of course, all the while I knew I was kidding myself somehow. I knew that if I caught up too many backlogged cycles I'd always tend to slow down so as to re-invent the problem, that 'being busy' was somehow a safe solution. But, safe solution to what? I didn't know, so it didn't blow. Well, this morning I finally noticed that I didn't feel like that anymore. I said to my wife, "I think I'll maybe get a new pair of shoes". I'd been meaning to do this for - ooh - well - longer than I would rather say ;-) I noticed that I had time to put my attention on this old, undone, low priority cycle. Later on I thought, "New shoes, do I need new shoes? Hell, maybe I do, maybe I don't, who cares." The house of cards had come tumbling down. Then I noticed what hadn't been done (this is kind of a latent cognition). I had been feeling old and tired since that failed CCRD I had in the Church. There was the incomplete comm cycle. I would, indeed should, have noticed this some days past. Edythe and later Ralph had been in comm. Edythe had done what I guess is the standard action around here, you know, like "what training have you had? what auditing have you had?" I was half senseless at the time. I had found all sorts of freezone sites on the net and had been surfing and reading well into the small hours for some days. All the time finding enough theta (and enough adrenalin probably too) to keep me going and, in many of the things I saw, enough curves to make me wary of trying to actually get in comm. Anyhow, bereft of sleep as I was, I sat up even later this time writing it all up. Then a comm came back from Edythe which, in effect, said "thank you, get your arse up that bridge". I almost couldn't believe it. In fact, no, I definitely didn't believe it. I had never been able to get that comm from a tech person before. I could make non-tech people understand - but tech people would always Q&A. Now with clear data it really isn't good enough getting your comm duplicated by a non-tech person - they're the wrong terminal, so the comm had not been completed. Then a comm came from Ralph which amounted to the same thing, if not more so. And by this time I had mailed Edythe back saying, in effect, "er, are you sure you accept that comm? Like you don't want to reject a bit of it, or put a bit under a microscope or anything?" And her response was essentially, "No, I accept your data". It was like being knocked out in a boxing match and then someone throws a bucket of water on you. I wanted to cry and the tears wouldn't come because I was so punch drunk from lack of sleep. But since then I am noticing that things have been changing!!! So here I sit having completed all the work I needed to do before going to see Ralph a day and a half early (without all the herculean added-inapplicable effort) and seemingly having handled all the case stuff that I'd wanted to handle even before I go! What awaits over the next week or two??? I hope it is a surprise! ML Nick P.S. Do you know what the selling point for this group is? Which is, at once, also the same thing that it has to overcome with CoS people. Straight tech the way the old man would want it done - no alter-is, added rubbish or anything of the sort. That is what really got me to reach. It is worry that it might not be the case that is keeping two people I've been in touch with subsequently from doing so. So long as we deliver straight, clean tech I see us going forward and losing to the degree that that falls out. So, keep up the good work. The responses I got to my Non-E were virtually all essentially, get your butt up the Bridge. I am beginning that. And I hope to be of some positive use to this group in a more active way with the 3rd dynamic at some point soon too. P.P.S. If my CCRD auditor, Mandy, should ever read this and before anyone gets the idea that I think the CCRD was all rubbish or that my auditor was crap - don't go down that road. Mandy, I know what a good auditor you are (really) - you just need to get one or two things straight and it seems to me that you'd be more likely to do that here, at fzao.

Some Fun! Speaking of moving terminals around in mock up, I remember one time years ago --1955 --when Vern Townsend, Duane Leazenby and Fred MacLean and I were running the Church of Scientology of Brememton, a typical hole-in-the wall operation. Old two story building. Well, Dick Steves who was Qual Sec in Washington D. C. at the time wrote us a very enturbulating letter--we were being investigated because there was supposed to be a commie on our staff. Well, we knew this wasn't true, and of course sent a proper reply, but the "investigation" made bypassed charge on our cases...we weren't happy with Richard Steves at that time. Well, Vern decided we would mock him up and move him around, which we did. Then we were pitching in with ideas of where to place the mockups. The final glorious point that had us all laughing was, we mocked him up and flushed him down the toilet.:) We had fun in those days! Pat

FREEZONE AOs Reasons we exist I may be missing something here, but if you're beating a drum in favour of those who get TA and case gain through the application of Scn be they in the Church or out of it - then most of us will drink to that. The problem that many of us here have with the Church, however, is that we weren't getting the TA in that organisation, and are getting it here. Speaking personally, thanks to what I can only regard as a willful disregard of LRH's writings going on the in the Church I had no bridge and plenty of BPC instead. I come here, get essentially one clean, non Q&Aing ack and the whole problem is blown away. And now I am doing the services I should have been doing at least 20 years ago with mega wins. Thats an awful big difference. The Church hadn't actually declared me an SP - but they might as well have done because I genuinely had no future there. You have to understand that many of us look at the Church and see what is going on there and do not regard that as proper Scientology. As I said however, where they are managing to get TA, at whatever price they may charge, then I salute that. I myself didn't get no wins at all there, far from it. I would rather that we didn't have to have independent groups. Unfortunately life aint like that. Cheers Nick

FREEZONE AOs On finding the freezone Well I would like to post my win(s) and say congats to all of you who have posted their's. There is nothing greater then the pleasure of certainty (atleast to me anyway ;-) ). Anywho, I am new to the idea of the Freezone and I have to say that since I have come across the FZ I have been in a Normal Trend heading I believe into an afluence of life. Everyday I look outside and notice something I have been taking for granted these last 25 years (yep, i'm 25). Each day holds new experiences and I am able to confront life as a game instead of a job (some people like their job's, I personally never have). As sad as it is to say I did not attain these perceptions and understandings as they are now when I was at the church. I only began to sense them and become aware of the real world around me when I came to the FZ site and took a look around. Things great and small hold a different sensation for me now. Each day grows into a greater wonder of what waits beyond the veil of tomorrow. I am pleased to say I have been bettered by having found the FZ. Thank you all, Sheyz

No more tiredness! It wasn¹t possible for me to become a better sleeper than I already was. I have been able to sleep anywhere, anytime, under any circumstances. Last night after a thoroughly hard session with Ted Crammer, I fell across my bed and slept 7:30pm to 6:30am! The best night¹s sleep I can remember ever! I woke up feeling well rested! this is new! I had before this dragged myself out of bed very tired every morning knowing I would have to push myself through the day, exhausted. It is 4pm today and I have not once thought, "I¹m so tired"! A big win for me and a very big thank you to Ted for his superior auditing ability. We handled a depressing picture I had been carrying around constantly for 23 years! It¹s gone now and I feel so very much better! Love, S.

Stable Wins From Auditing I am sitting on a win since a few days. A few days ago I realized that I still feel a bit better than before the auditing with Ralph. And than I realized that this is the first time since 15 years I wasn't doing worser after auditing. This is qite remarkable for me because that's the point I am complaining about since 15 years and never could understand why. Regards ET

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